My Quarter life CRISIS.

When you realize, whatever decision you take right now will have serious repercussions on where you want to go and what you want to become in future, you change.

In about 2-3 weeks, I will have completed my post-graduation and will be steering myself into another chapter of life. It still feels like yesterday when I was accepted into University and although the diploma was only going to continue for a year, it occurred as a routine and something that had meaning. Fast forward to 2016 and here I am questioning what’s next?

No, I am not having any ‘crisis’ and I’m not typing this while drowning in a sea of tears. All is good. But then again, nothing seems like it. I guess this is that stage where you thought you would have achieved a lot but you’re no where closer to it. Remember when your 16 year old self would dream about having a life to look forward to by the time you were, say, 23 or 25? Well, now that I think of it, I’m only going back in reverse.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the fact that we as kids have big goals and ambitions and when it’s time to put our dreams into reality, we kind of get lost. We suddenly question everything about ourselves and while most of us fight all odds, some aren’t able to cope. It’s not really about running from responsibilities but realizing you don’t have enough time. Not enough time to do everything you’ve wanted to.

The whole thought process behind a quarter life crisis makes sense to me now. Transitioning from being a teenager with serious hormonal issues to being a dysfunctional adult who has absolutely no idea what’s happening is difficult. I think the hardest thing about reaching a certain age is when people start expecting things out of you. Like hell. You start expecting things out of you. You want to have a meaningful life for yourself and you want to give something out to the world. Living in a world where people younger than you are doing unimaginable things, working towards their dreams, it strikes you hard. And THAT is a point of no return.

When I entered my 20s, I felt like I was on a roller coaster ride and I knew while things wouldn’t be easy, they would be achievable. I still hold on to that belief but somewhere down the line, I’ve realized, it’s way more harder than I had anticipated. You’re living your life but is it how you imagined? You wake up one day and suddenly you’re 23

If quarter life crisis wasn’t enough to bring down your energy levels, then being in an identity crisis would make matters even worse. The weirdest thing is figuring out what you’re really meant to do. Whether what you’re studying is the subject for you or the job you’re currently doing the right one for you? The doubts are endless.

When you realize, whatever decision you take right now will have serious repercussions on where you want to go and what you want to become in future, you change. You start to weigh every outcome like you have never before, your horizon on life undergoes a huge transition, you start accepting things the way they are and you become more careful. This is that phase where we really hustle. You know getting our shit together? It’s a different ball game.

I don’t know about you but I have days where I feel if I don’t do this now, I won’t be able to do it ever. And that is the single most frightening thing. To be unable to do things you want to. There is this constant pressure of accomplishing goals no matter how tiny. We keep saying I’ll do this when I grow up or I’ll take a 6 month vacation after college. Well, that time is here and most of it has gone. THIS IS CRUNCH TIME.

Your 20s is the most liberating yet confusing period of your life. Even though this is the phase where you will experience maximum upheavals emotionally, physically and psychologically, it is still worth every second. The uncertainty might get a little intimidating at first but learning to embrace it is winning half the battle.

So to everyone who’s having a hard time,

“Open your heart, mind and soul, and look forward to your future.Celebrate the little things life offers and stay humble with your achievements and successes. Spend more time on knowledge and memories and pay little to no attention on materialism. Be proud of how far you’ve come and know that you’re capable of nothing but the best.”

 

How NOT to procrastinate

Procrastination sticks to us like bees on a beehive. However, it is not impossible to over-come procrastination. You just have to persevere and be patient with yourself.

We’ve all been there. The dread , the unapologetic behaviour, the anxiety and mental stress of delaying what’s to be done. Procrastination or putting off of things to be completed later is something we’re all too familiar with. Whether it is studying after an hour which turns into an entire month till you reach the deadline and decide to die instead or living with constant guilt of producing a below average work. It’s okay. It only goes to show you’re human. But don’t you think fighting off procrastination is better than a shitty assignment? Well, thought so.

In this post, I’m going to talk about some tips that have worked with me in eliminating procrastination. These suggestions, however, are very subjective. You might find it useful or they might not work for you. But there’s no harm in trying, right?

  1. Identify your triggers: Maybe the reason you’re procrastinating is directly related to the number of things that distract you. It can be anything and everything that draws your attention to things that are less important or even trivial. Getting rid of social media worked best for me. If you’re hungry or feeling sleepy, grab that snack or go take a nap. Just complete everything that is stopping you from opening your books. Try throwing your phone away. (No, not literally

  2. Create your own environment: Each one of us have a study style. Most are productive when they’re studying alone in a quiet room without any interruptions while some work best while listening to music. Learn when your productivity is the highest and work to create your studying space. This will prevent you from putting off studying. If my study desk is a pile of shit that I don’t require, I proceed towards getting that shit sorted. This helps me think clearly.
  3. Force yourself: Once you have eliminated all the procrastinating pit stops, you can now move ahead to the most important step. In order to brush off the shadow of procrastination, you have to push yourself into completing the task. Remember, beginnings are always the hardest. Once you stay put for 15 minutes, you will have developed a flow and you would find yourself getting the work done.
  4. Handle the monster first: This means delving right into the subject that is the most difficult to do or the thought of which is making you put off studying altogether. When I was in school, I used to dread studying mathematics which used to result in me putting off studying for hours till it was very late. Tackling the subjects you dislike or that which bore you first helps in getting it out-of-the-way. Adopting this strategy helps you in avoiding further procrastination thereby creating more time to work on other subjects as well.
  5. Divide and break down: This means breaking down your work in different sections to avoid getting overwhelmed by the huge chunk of black and white information. Breaking down helps us to concentrate and focus more while dividing assists in compressing the content and making it easier to grasp. If you’ve broken your chapters into little parts and it still isn’t helping, shorten it even more. Keep doing it till studying doesn’t intimidate you (even if you study only a page, it’s a win). Also, always study for 30 minutes and then take a break. This helps in retention.
  6. Treat yourself OR don’t: It is essential to focus on what you will do once you complete the set task. This might be enjoying a bar of chocolate after completing a chapter or going with friends for a movie or even using social media for an hour without any guilt. Bargaining with oneself makes us look forward to the outcome more than the process of doing it. This is called positive reinforcement. Similarly, if you, for instance, manage to complete your essay, you will not do the dishes or make your bed. Negative reinforcements sometimes work very well in completing the task.  If reinforcements don’t work, then try punishment as a method. Take away something you look forward to if you’re unable to complete that essay like not using social media for more than 15 minutes or staying at home for the weekend. Talk to yourself and make deals. See what works best for you.
  7. Set Goals: Having a dream or an ambition often motivates us to get the work done. Goals make us more productive because we’re determined to achieve them. It can be as simple as getting a good grade in your history paper or getting selected for a debate at school/college. Anything that excites you even a tiny bit to get out of bed. Although following up is important. You have to walk the talk. You cannot expect to be a good sports person if you spend all your time being a couch potato.

 

 

There are a few other things you should keep in mind: 

  • Don’t be too hard on yourself. If you’ve procrastinated to a point of no return, don’t fret. Just let it go and make tomorrow more productive.
  • Do not wait for the right time to get the work done. Now is as good a time as any.
  • Try not to be a perfectionist. Most of the time it is essential to finish the job rather than putting your energy on tiny details to make it look, “perfect”.  You can always go back and brush up on the details once you get everything else done. Sometimes, just sometimes, quantity matters more than quality.
  • Get a study  buddy. Nothing is more motivating than a friend who is in as deep a shit as you. This way both of you can cry tears of joy and pain and ultimately push each other to study.
  • Work hard. Nothing in the world comes free and you definitely don’t want procrastination to be your biggest regret.

 

 

I hope the above post was of some help to you. What are the different ways in which you beat procrastination? Comment below so that I can know about them, too!